Hi everyone and welcome to the Quiet Living Room, a podcast by Quiet Social Club. Welcome to a space where your wellbeing is a priority, where we bring you the best of science-based self-care, the tools and techniques so you can make SPACE FOR YOU for you every day.
Today’s episode is quite a special one. You might have noticed that its been a little more quiet than usual on this podcast over the last few weeks. We have actually been preparing the launch of the very first Quiet Social Club product for home use and I am very excited to share with you the news that you will soon be able to enjoy mindful me-time every day. So if making science-based self-care a daily lifestyle sounds interesting to you, subscribe to our Newsletter. the link is in the description below). And I look forward to seeing you there!
From episode 1 of The Quiet Living Room, we really jumped right into it: every week, we practised a different type of guided meditation together: from loving kindness and mindful breathing, to a morning meditation with positive affirmations and an an evening meditation with binaural beats. We also brought meditation and mindfulness into our mealtimes with a guided mindful eating exercise.
Over this time, we received quite a few messages from you about how you can develop your meditation practice and how to get started if you haven’t yet. So this week, we are dedicating this space to meditation, the theory. We will talk about the different types of meditation that are out there, we will uncover some facts that are not so commonly known about meditation. And at the end of this episode, we will bring you a few tips from practitioners who have been meditating for years on how to really get the most of your meditation practice.
As a practice, meditation has been around for centuries, Some archaeologists date the practice of meditation back as early as 5000 BCE. But in the West, we have seen it gain popularity in the last few decades.
For a lot of us, when we think of meditation, one of the first images that will come to mind is that of a monk meditating in solitude on a secluded mountain top. In the past, meditation has often been portrayed as something that is difficult to incorporate into our modern, busy lifestyles. Something that seems quite far removed from our life with laptops and full schedules. When I started meditating, you could really only find books on meditation in the spirituality aisle at bookstores. Luckily, this is really changing now and that’s a great thing.
The knowledge about meditation is also becoming more varied, it's not just this abstract thing anymore. For example: What we know now is that meditation is not just a spiritual practice, but it really is a form of mental training. Meditation is not just one activity, but it is a toolbox and a way to explore yourself and your mind.
There are many types of meditation, loving-kindness, mindfulness meditation, movement meditation, mantra meditation. And there is increasing scientific evidence that different types of practices will effect different mental states.
Researchers at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences in Leipzig, Germany, for example, looked at three different types of meditation, mindful breathing, loving kindness and observing your thoughts without getting attached to them, or getting carried away by them. They found that mindful breathing had a calming and relaxing effect on the body, but surprisingly the other two did not. The loving kindness meditation, on the other hand, produced a positive mood and feeling of connectedness to the people around you, whilst mindful breathing and observing your thoughts did not. The research on meditation is still in its beginning stages, but there is more and more studies out there that show us how different types of meditations produce different results in our body and body.
And it’s not just that they produce different kinds of effects, they also do this in different time spans. Some studies for example found that practising loving-kindness, just once for 7 minutes would boost a person’s sense of social connection and mood overall, even if just for a short time. Research is also increasingly clear on the fact that the longer we practise, the more resilient, the more undisturbed by outside factors our mind gets. This is very encouraging, and proves that keeping up our practise is really worth it.
Now, the majority of us, if asked would probably say yes to a calm and peaceful mind, a mind that can ignore distractions and that we can focus on things that help us move forward emotionally. But one thing that frequently happens and has happened even to practitioners who have been meditating for years is: you start meditating, you keep it up for a few weeks and you stop.
Everyone might have different reasons for doing this, but one reason that scientists keep seeing again and again is that: When we first start meditating there is this excitement of trying something new. You have heard the befits of meditation and now you want to give it a try yourself. The first time you meditate and keep your mind focused, it’s really an incredible feeling. But then you get accustomed to this new reality. So you have this gap between the long-term effects of meditation on your mental state of mind that you reach with months of practice and the very initial few weeks’ excitement of trying something new. Seth Godin called this the “dip”, and although he applies this in a different context, I think this really applies to meditation too. You have probably felt it too in other areas of your life: you get excited about trying something new and then the excitement fades and so does motivation. We all know this to some extent or the other. Its important to keep reminding ourselves that we are on a journey. That there will be days when we don’t feel motivated to meditate, and there will be days when we feel like we just can’t stay focused. Lets meditate through these days with compassion and patience for ourselves. Keep Reminding yourself that this is a journey and the effects will show with consistent practice.
These few examples and more research on meditation is cited in Daniel Goleman and Richard Davidson’s book “Altered Traits”. To date, I think this is one of the most comprehensive books on meditation - really looking at a wide range of insights and studies and I can recommend for meditation beginners as well as experienced practitioners.
Meditation really has so many benefits to our mental, physical and emotional health. It can help us regulate our emotions, better manage negative thought patterns, it can reduce anxiety, lower blood pressure and even improve sleep. And to make sure that you really are off to the best start with your meditation practice, we want to share some tips with you by the team and meditation practitioners who have already walked the walk.
Tip Number 1: Be compassionate with yourself and enjoy the journey
We go into meditation imagining the destination. The image of the calm, peaceful monk unphased by everything that life throws at them. We imagine our mind no longer wandering and staying completely clear, focused and present. When we do this, we forget that meditation itself is the journey and the destination. Its the means and the end. Every day we sit down to meditate is a decision to take care of our mental wellbeing. Goleman and Davidson say that: “Valuing just the heights misses the true point of practice: to transform ourselves in lasting ways day to day.” The process is calming our mind, and that will be easier on some days than others. The key is to stay compassionate with yourself and patient.
Tip Number 2:
Be okay with starting small. We often hear these stories about the ideal meditation time. If you have spoken to Vipassana retreat attendees, they will tell you that the ideal time is 2 hours a day. really, the best time to start with is the time you will actually be able to commit to every day. If that is 5-10 minutes, then this is your ideal time to get started with. There is actually a beautiful quote by the Buddha that really shows the value of small steps, which we sometimes forget. “Drop by drop is the water pot filled. Likewise, the wise man, gathering it little by little, fills himself with good.” Let’s celebrate all the little steps on the way.
Tip Number 3 is a tip that really changed my practice and that I picked up at a Vipassana retreat in Hong Kong:
If you notice your mind wandering or if you notice yourself falling asleep, breathe in deeply and really follow the air entering your body. Put all your focus on how the air feels below your nose and above your lips, when it enters through your nose. Breathe like this a couple of times, until your mind feels more focused again.
And this is a tip a monk in Nepal taught me and again, really changed my practice: you don’t need to close your eyes completely. To some of us, it is actually quite hard to stay awake during meditation. So a trick to use here is to keep your eyes a tiny bit open as if you want to see just enough but not enough to see what it is you’re seeing.
Tip Number 4:
Have a specific place and a specific time where you meditate
It is much easier to stick to a routine if we have a clear idea about what this routine is. Because we want to make it a daily habit, decide on a time in your day where you think it will be realistic for you to commit to it every day. I think the morning is a great time since it allows you to also set an intention for the day. But really you can meditate at any point during the day. Find a place in your home that is calm and quiet and make this your meditation sanctuary. Meditating in bed might sound relaxing at first, but this is still a time where you want to clear your mind and not fall asleep so find a place where you can do that that will make you not want to fall asleep.
Tip Number 5:
Come back every day, even you don’t feel like it.
Meditation will not always be easy, and we can feel discouraged when we meditate days on end and our mind keeps heading to our grocery list (yes, it will happen on some days) but the benefits of meditating every day are proven and it is this daily practice that will really yield results. If you miss a day or two, its okay, just start again, we don’t want to fall into the trap of self judgment but try to bring some consistency in your practice in the first few weeks and months, and you will soon realise that just like healthy food, the benefits of this practice show themselves with consistency and patience over time.
Now this concludes our list of myths and tips for your meditation practice. We hope you found them valuable, that you’re inspired to make meditation a daily practice and that you join us again for a guided meditation next week.
DOn’t forget to subscribe to this podcast to receive notifications about new episodes and definitely subscribe to our newsletter to receive quality content on science-based self-care, very occasionally in your inbox. We will also be sharing more info about the launch there soon!
Have a great week everyone ahead and see you next time!